My Interview with Ellen Degeneres: Prophets

Having been raised in the LDS faith I have encountered many of the same questions over the years.  How many moms do you have?  Where is your horse and buggy? Do you know you're going to hell?  So you worship Joseph Smith, right?  Why are you so weird?  These are just a few of my favorite gems.  I've decided to dedicate one post a month to answering a frequently asked question.  Here's the thing though, FAQ lists are for college admissions websites and door to door vacuum sales pamphlets.  I figured a (fake) interview with Ellen Degeneres would get my point across and be a little less like reading a manual on how to put together your IKEA nightstand.  Ellen, if you read this and ever want to do a real interview, I would love to grace your program with my presence (and give every member in the audience a free Book of Mormon! I'd even throw in a red marking pencil #bigspender).

Ellen:  I hope you are all excited for today's program; it is going to be one to remember.  We have a very special guest that I can't wait for you to meet.  It's Channing Tatum!  But before we get to the dessert of this program we have to eat our less delicious vegetables.  We are going to have a recurring guest at the end of every month who will come and answer a question about the Mormon faith.  Please welcome Sister Poppe, a full time missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints--otherwise known as the broccoli of today's broadcast.

(mild awkward clapping; a few hisses; a few boos; a cat's meow; one exuberant cheer--from my mother)

Sister P:  Thank you for having me on today, Ellen.  It's a pleasure.

Ellen:  It's nice to have you.  Today I would like to focus on one question that many people have about Mormonism.  What is this business about prophets on the Earth today?

Sister P:  I'm glad you asked that Ellen.  The belief that there is a prophet on the earth today is a unique message that only the LDS faith offers.  A prophet is someone that acts as the mouthpiece of God on earth. Think of the prophets in the Bible; Abraham, Moses, Jeremiah, etc.  They were all individuals called of God to teach people and guide them.  That is what the current prophet, Thomas S. Monson, does.  He is called of God to lead humanity.  We believe that President Monson has the power to receive revelation from God to help people on their journey to return to Heavenly Father.  The prophet doesn't rule our lives.  He gives us guidelines that will lead to a happy lifestyle that is in accordance with God's plan.  Picture this: Dumbledore and Elsa have a baby that has all of their greatest qualities AND the ability to communicate with Heavenly Father and that is a prophet.  Someone kind, wise, humble, and a little baller.

Ellen:  Don't you think it's a little crazy to believe that there is a man on earth today that communicates with God directly?  I mean, even Dory is skeptical of this principle and she's a dingy true blue.

Sister P:  If you truly believe that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever then it isn't that outlandish to believe that there is a prophet on earth today.  Christians across the planet believe that there were prophets during the Biblical era. If Moses could lead the Israelites across the Red Sea, then why can't a man today lead me through the treacherous times we live in? Why wouldn't there be a prophet today?  Heavenly Father loves all of his children equally.  He wouldn't provide a leader for his sons and daughters millennia ago and not do it today. There have been periods of time without prophets on the earth, but that's a discussion for a different day.  I believe that Thomas S. Monson has been called of God to direct people today and that after he dies another man will be called of God to direct in his stead.  I can't make you believe it, but I can promise that if you learn more, read the Book of Mormon, and pray to know if there is a prophet today that you will receive a personalized answer from Heavenly Father.  That is how prayer works.

Ellen:  Thank you, Sister P.  We definitely have a lot to think about after your visit.  I am looking forward to your April visit where you will talk some more with us about the intricacies of the Mormon religion.  Alright. We are going to have a quick break before a big dish of Channing Tatum dessert!